7 Degrees of Adoption Waiting

So every day of waiting for this adoption to be complete, I think of some new silly, and usually weird and off the wall, thing to keep me sane.  I barter.  I think that if I make certain plans, Hugo will come home faster.  I tried the whole "build it and he will come" campaign with his room.  That one was good.  It took up a lot of time and kept me occupied so I wouldn't sit around and wonder why we weren't hearing anything. It didn't bring him home but the reward of that task was really productivity.

Today I was thinking about all the different emotions I feel on a daily basis.  All the different "seasons" of adoption.  And this list popped into my head.  I think I have felt all of these.  And not always in order.  Sometimes I feel more of them at the same time.

So I thought I would share.

The 7 Degrees of Adoption Waiting

1. Elation - Look at my beautiful kid(s)!!!!

2. Sadness - It is so hard to be away from this beautiful kid(s).

3. Anger - It is so wrong that I have to wait so long to begin my daily life with this beautiful kid(s).

4. Indifference and Despair - Whatever.  That beautiful kid(s) is never coming home.  No matter what I do.

5. Stage 1 Insanity - This feels hopeful.  I have a renewed sense of energy for this fight for my beautiful kid(s).  (This is also accompanied with what I like to call a degree of bat shit craziness.)

6. Desperation and The Bad Place -  Making crazy bargains or declarations in hopes that the adoption Gods will cut me some slack and send that beautiful kid(s) home.

7. Stage 5 Insanity - This you never return from.  Welcome to your new normal.

Of course this all in fun.  I know that all of this is worth it.  Worth every moment of waiting to get to be the mommy of that beautiful boy.

This is just a piece of my crazy while I am waiting...

Our September trip

Every trip we go on I do a slideshow.  I wasn't going to this time.  I am not sure why.  I am having a harder time recovering from leaving Hugo on this trip than I ever have before.  So much sadness.  It just seemed like too much.

But today I was inspired by this song.  I love it and I sing it to Hugo every night and hope he can always feel my love.  I don't know why it didn't hit me before to use it.  But I am glad to be inspired by it today.

Godspeed little man
Sweet dreams little man
My love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed

We love you Hugo.

Another free digital slideshow by Smilebox