So every day of waiting for this adoption to be complete, I think of some new silly, and usually weird and off the wall, thing to keep me sane. I barter. I think that if I make certain plans, Hugo will come home faster. I tried the whole "build it and he will come" campaign with his room. That one was good. It took up a lot of time and kept me occupied so I wouldn't sit around and wonder why we weren't hearing anything. It didn't bring him home but the reward of that task was really productivity.
Today I was thinking about all the different emotions I feel on a daily basis. All the different "seasons" of adoption. And this list popped into my head. I think I have felt all of these. And not always in order. Sometimes I feel more of them at the same time.
So I thought I would share.
The 7 Degrees of Adoption Waiting
1. Elation - Look at my beautiful kid(s)!!!!
2. Sadness - It is so hard to be away from this beautiful kid(s).
3. Anger - It is so wrong that I have to wait so long to begin my daily life with this beautiful kid(s).
4. Indifference and Despair - Whatever. That beautiful kid(s) is never coming home. No matter what I do.
5. Stage 1 Insanity - This feels hopeful. I have a renewed sense of energy for this fight for my beautiful kid(s). (This is also accompanied with what I like to call a degree of bat shit craziness.)
6. Desperation and The Bad Place - Making crazy bargains or declarations in hopes that the adoption Gods will cut me some slack and send that beautiful kid(s) home.
7. Stage 5 Insanity - This you never return from. Welcome to your new normal.
Of course this all in fun. I know that all of this is worth it. Worth every moment of waiting to get to be the mommy of that beautiful boy.
This is just a piece of my crazy while I am waiting...